just what I need

So, tomorrow is the big day. Or I guess today for that matter. Seems strange, I’ve been dreaming of this day since I was 8 years old. Mozambique. Wow. I have so many expectations for what the Lord is going to do. I can’t even begin….

I woke up this morning expecting for the Lord to do some amazing work in my heart. Something mind-altering…preparing me, speaking some insane word to me of what He had for on this trip. I tried, I really did work real hard to receive…funny how that never works.

Well, in the midst of my great efforts to hear what the Lord had for me, God actually spoke. And it came in the form of many of my old journals. Thank you Jesus.

I forgot how much I really do love to read and remember where the Lord has brought me and what He’s done in my life. This particular page from January 3, 2010 really caught me.

I’m really beginning to see that You have so much more for me than unfulfilled dreams and unmet desires! Your heart is to fill me so fully with Your love that it overflows to the world. I’ve begun to notice thoughts surfacing in my mind that it’s sometimes so much easier not to care. I’ve too often experienced passion being followed closely disappointment. I’ve felt abandoned by you and discouraged by seemingly unanswered prayers. God—I know You are so much bigger than disappointment and discouragement. Open my eyes to what You are doing.
“God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.” Lamentations 3:25 (The Message)

I’ve often struggled with this same thing, and it seems like the same issues have come up even recently. Struggling to take the Lord at his word, really having to fight to believe the promises the Lord has spoken, sometimes questioning God’s faithfulness.

It’s so funny, that on the night before I get to experience a dream I’ve dreamed for as long as I can remember--I’ve begged and sought the Lord for this for years--that He would lead me to read that. There have been many times I’ve given up on promises, believed that God had forgotten me. But today, I was reminded of His faithfulness. Not just from stories that I’ve read or heard from others. No, tonight I was reminded of God’s faithfulness in my life. He is so sweet to me, He knows just what I need.

He is sure.
He keeps His word.
His promises are true.
He has always been faithful to me.
He has not abandoned.
He always gives me the sweet reminders I need.



So, as much as I wanted to have some EPIC revelation and something amazingly soul stirring to write, I’m grateful that Jesus knows just what I need. He’s so faithful.


I can’t wait to come home a new woman. I’m believing the Lord for huge things, I’m so expectant!!!

So…until then dear friends!!!! AHHHHHH!