insane exchanges

Well, it legitimately feels like summer. Spending all afternoon outside on a day that could easily rival for the most epically beautiful day I've ever experienced seals the deal. This summer is kinda a big deal, not gonna lie. I'm coming off a season of the most growth I've ever experienced, its my first time overseas, my last summer in Abilene, my LAST SUMMER AS A TEENAGER, my first summer not jam packed with events/obligations. I've got some high hopes for what the Lord has for me this summer. I wrote a long list of things I'd like this summer to hold for me the other day...and to sum it all up--I prayed that this summer is one of intentionality and new adventures.


One thing I've come to so love and appreciate about the Lord is the way He is so faithful to make insane exchanges! So many times, I bring him pitiful, gross, and nasty feelings/thoughts/prayers--and God has ALWAYS been certain to take those and replace them with encouragement! Good thing He's got an endless supply of encouragement, for so was the case this afternoon. (I sometimes wonder how in the world He has enough room to keep all the crap I bring to Him..hmmmm) All I could seem to muster today up were feelings of frustration, confusion, discouragement, condemnation, insecurity, and you name it. I was extremely unexpectant of the Lord to meet me, I half way expected Him to leave me wallowing in this huge mess of BLAHHHHHH.

Well, He most certainly DID meet with me, go figure. In the most peculiar way I might add. Not with sweet songs of love or fuzzy feelings of confidence. No, He met me with conviction. GEESSSHHHHH.

I was flipping through my bible praying the Lord would lead me to just the right encouraging Psalm or a feel good verse to pick up my spirit. Well...He lead me to 1 John. So, I don't know how OK this is to say, but I hate 1 John. Always have. So...begrudgingly I flipped to the back of my bible and began reading all about how we must walk as Jesus walked and that we can't love the both world and God. I read about loving not with words but with actions, that if I really love God I will obey all of His commands. CONVICTION MODE MAJOR.

So...where the encouragement came I really couldn't tell you. All I know, is that in the midst of complaining to God how I could NEVER do any of this and explaining to Him how hopeless of a case I am, he gently interrupted me to say "Achhemm, Sweetheart. There is no fear in love. My perfect love drives out fear! You don't have to fear because I love you perfectly!"

Yes, I'm so thankful for chapters 4 and 5 of 1 John. Just a warning to all you lovely people, never attempt reading 1 John without reading the last 2 chapters--for it concludes all the SUPREME CONVICTION of the previous 3 chapters by encouraging us that his commands are not burdensome! That we are God's children! That we overcome the world! That we can confidently approach God!


So Lord, I have seen you faithfully meet me time and time again, even in the midst of my discouragement. You are always sure to replace my crap for encouragement.

"And this is the testimony:
God has given us eternal life,
and this life is in his Son."
1 John 5:11