worth the wait

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."
Isiah 30:15

I've grown up being told to wait on the Lord. Like so many other things in my church bubble of a life, this phrase has always been one I've known, but never really understood. I'm sure at one point I've even been the one to wisely give the advice: "Just wait on the Lord, just be patient." All the while...I had no idea WHAT I was telling someone to do. Well, let me let you in on a little secret...I'm super impatient. shhh. I try to wait, honest I do. More than anything, I want the Lord's will for me. More than anything I want to be where God wants me. But sometimes, what I want now, God doesn't really seem to want for me NOW. Sometimes, I believe with my whole heart that I know the Lord's plan or his desires for me... but then they don't happen. Sometimes something seems so good, so right, so from the Lord, and I do it, and it's so wrong. So...how do I wait?? What in the huge wide world does that look like? Am I supposed to sit here with my feet propped up, watching Survivorman and just....wait for God to hit me in the head? What a life eh?? No! Lord..there has to be something more. I am not a girl of inaction. I can't stand to be doing NOTHING. I'm the kind who needs to be moving forward, making progress, walking out my dreams. Ok, so it is true that I am somewhat of a control freak and I MUST do things my way. So that being tue, how do I wait for the Lord?? My heart is so full of passions, so full of desires, so full of dreams that I know are from the Lord. I feel as if God has shown me the end result, but felt it unnecessary to give me a time line. I cannot bear to function apart from these passions He's placed within me, yet I can't seem to function within them now eithr.

I honestly don't even know what I'm waiting for sometims. The Psalms are full of David claiming that he will wait on the Lord. So, David good sir, how did you get it??? What did the Lord show you that I'm failing to see? When you "waited patiently on the Lord and he turned to you and heard your cry," (psalm 40) what in the world does that look like?

So, I would love to say that to tag on to this stream of continual questions and my lack of understanding, that I have some glorious revelation to end on.I regret to say that is not at all the case. All I know is that my Jesus is faithful. My precious Savior has good plans for me. My Daddy is working things out for my good. Maybe thats what it means to wait. Not so much to wait in nothingness...but to wait in action. I guess waiting just equals trusting. Go figure...

My handsome Lover has asked me on date. He tells me it is going to be the most mindblowing night of my life. He tells me to be ready, to look my absolute best. He will pick me up at the perfect time. He tells me to trust Him, I won't be disappointed. Of course, my mind begins to reel. Expectations run wild in my little head. I start to get ready...expecting Him to show up. I'm all ready. I wait. I wait...it should be about time...right? Is He coming? I sit by the window and stare out....looking as far down the road as I can...straining to see His car. Did He forget about me? Did His car break down? Did He find someone better? The questions continue...It's too late now. He's forgotten. I begin to take off my perfect outfit when...I see headlights at the end of the road. He steps out of the car..with roses in His hand. He came for me!!! But how dare He keep me waiting?!? What took so long?? He never answers..He just smiles and says "I'm so glad you were ready, Beloved." And He's right. What if I had gotten back into my PJs, sat on the couch, watching a movie. Sure, I would have been distracted. The waiting would have been a little easier, but when He showed up..I would not have been ready! Had I truly given, how would He have felt? Showing up, seeing my unbelief in His promise? And you see, the best part! Just in the nick of time, just when I was about to give up..He rides in with all His glory. And He does not disappoint.

"No one who waits on the Lord
will ever be put to shame."