the experience.

So, I'm not gonna promise you that all of my posts from here on out will not be about Mozambique. How could they not be? My life was changed in that beautiful country. I will promise you that I will always write about what's on my heart. And for as long as Moz is on my heart, I'll write about it. Who knows how long that will be...hopefully forever.

So, through an email conversation with our team leader Marilyn, we talked about our time back, the experiences we've had since being home, and what the Lord has done. I shared that crying has become a part of my daily routine since being back in the states. I miss it there...I miss the people, the sunsets, the dancing. But I cry too because of what the Lord did. This is how she replied. It was too epicly perfectly stated to not share.

"Yes, crying…….a condition shared by all Moz teams upon returning home.

It will decrease, but when you least expect it, it all comes back over you….

And suddenly, you are there again. Sometimes it’s the burning trash smell, sometimes the diesel bus exhaust smell,

Or often a small child of African decent – and you see those brown eyes…..

And there they come again.

Tears of joy and tears of sadness – all mixed together.

But to not have experienced it would be a tragedy.

And may you laugh and cry – all at the same time – when you remember our time there;

And all the memories that we will carry with us into life. Hopefully we will live our life differently because of all we’ve experienced."

I cried in Moz, I cry here too. but it's different.
The difference is my tears here don't leave dirt streaks on my face.
It's different here because my tears aren't wiped away by little, caring hands.
The difference is I cried there because I didn't want to leave, I cry now because I want to go back.
I cried there because I could barely take it all in, I cry here because I remember it all with joy.


I won't lie though, I somewhat enjoy crying. I prayed so many times that I wouldn't stop feeling. I don't want to stop, I want to always remember and always feel. I want to always cry. Because while it hurts, that's really not the tragedy. To have not experienced would be the real tragedy.


Thank you Jesus.