Ever experienced a moment, or a day, or a weekend, where you wish you could somehow record everything that happened, was said, or you felt. A time that you never wanted to forget? Hmmm...well I have. And sadly, the mind is unreliable, and I tend to forget very quickly experiences I desperately long to remember. But thank God for blogs eh!?!? So the purpose of this entry is solely for me..to remember. To look back in years and remember how I felt, what I thought, what God did in one amazing weekend. My life is ruined..I'll never be the same.
So yes, this is my follow up to World Mandate blog. I was told beforehand that I couldn't have expectations high enough of what God would do. Well, I'm pretty skeptical when it comes to stuff like that. I've been to my fair share of conferences, camps, and events, and sure...I've seen God do amazing things. Don't get me wrong--I know that the Lord works at things like that..but it's also very emotional as well. So..I confess I went in with semi-unhigh expectations. But praise Jesus that He doesn't care about our expectations!
The one thing I really learned about the Lord this past weekend is how well He really knows me. He ministered to me in the way that only He could. Speaking to me in ways that I understand, teaching me the things I really need to learn, and singing over me songs that I've been longing to hear for my whole life. He answered prayers, reminded me of promises, and rekindled dreams that I long ago had abandoned. When the speaker said on Friday night that if we want to see God move, we have to run into the pain, instead of away from it, my heart was stirred deeply. Yes! This has been the cry of my heart for as long as I can remember, and God knew that. In this world of inevitable pain and hurting, I want to be there to help ease and heal the hearts of people who have no where else to turn. I want to minister and share and serve those who are forgotten. I don't just want to serve the "least of these," I want to join them. Cry with them. Heal with them. Learn with them. Seek God with them.
I saw God do amazing things this weekend. I can come to you with complete sincerity in saying I was blown away. My life is never ever ever going to look the same way. How can it? My passion to see people experience what I have cannot be stifled. The fire in me cannot be put out. The thirst placed inside of me by God himself will not easily be quenched. I have gotten a glimpse of a picture much bigger than my own. I'm no longer satisfied to sit and receive from Jesus. I will be one who soaks in everything God can give, and take it and run. Take to those who need it most. I must go. I must go where the pain is greatest. I must go where I can bring healing. There's nothing else to do!
And so, as I was asking the Lord what my life was about, what do I do now? He replied to me...
"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kinds to the brightness of your dawn."
Isaiah 60: 1-3
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empty again
This seed I've received I will sow
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